I know that death is upon me
Its bound to happen
Hell I faced death when I began life
And since that moment I’ve been in a fight for my life
Cause death is ubiquitous
Constantly threatening me
If it aint the violence of every day life
It’s the violence I inflict on me
It’s the inter-me that be trying to kill me
Well it used to, until I got the inter-me speaking life instead of being afraid of death
Cause I was in the age of anxiety
Anxious because death is inevitable
And I was assigning death to shit that just was
But because I thought my life depended on that shit
The loss of it or not having it when I wanted it led to me thinking that I could die because I did not have it.
Does that make me crazy.
Cause if I am, maybe you are too
Cause most of us get attached to stuff and give meaning to stuff
And suffer because of this attachment to stuff
Its not God who tempts us
But our lusts that lead us astray and lead us to death
Having us screamin’ “Lord, I need some help.”
And help is always present
Often I just need to get present
To live in the moment
Cause that’s all I wanna do is live
Cause death can’t catch me
But there is some other shit trying to kill me
As much as I police my black body
I find that there is not much that I can do to stop a hater from killing me.
I was told that being a good black boy would save me
I was told that dressing right would save me
I was told that saying yes ma’am and yes sir would save me
I was told that just saying no to drugs would save me
I was told that keeping my dick in my pants would save me
I was told that if I went to church I would be saved
I was told that going to college would save me
I was told that talking right would save me
I was told that walking right would save me
I was told that marriage would save me
And while I have not face an early death, these things are far from salvific
Cause I live in a place where my body is a threat
And I am thankful that I aint dead yet
But I know that its coming
And I know that any wrong move can make it come faster
But I don’t fret
I approach death with laughter
It can’t catch me
Cause I’m living life to the fullest
And I aint trying to live it another way
I’ve already died before
And I’ve been resurrected twice
No, I’m not invisible
Just living life on purpose
And if I die tomorrow, I’ve already fulfilled my purpose
~ Maco L. Faniel (inspired by Kendrick Lamar’s “Never Catch Me”)