Maco L. Faniel

I know that death is upon me

Its bound to happen

Hell I faced death when I began life

And since that moment I’ve been in a fight for my life

Cause death is ubiquitous

Constantly threatening me

If it aint the violence of every day life

It’s the violence I inflict on me

It’s the inter-me that be trying to kill me

Well it used to, until I got the inter-me speaking life instead of being afraid of death

Cause I was in the age of anxiety

Anxious because death is inevitable

And I was assigning death to shit that just was

But because I thought my life depended on that shit

The loss of it or not having it when I wanted it led to me thinking that I could die because I did not have it.

Does that make me crazy.

Cause if I am, maybe you are too

Cause most of us get attached to stuff and give meaning to stuff

And suffer because of this attachment to stuff

Its not God who tempts us

But our lusts that lead us astray and lead us to death

Having us screamin’ “Lord, I need some help.”

And help is always present

Often I just need to get present

To live in the moment

Cause that’s all I wanna do is live

Cause death can’t catch me

But there is some other shit trying to kill me

As much as I police my black body

I find that there is not much that I can do to stop a hater from killing me.

I was told that being a good black boy would save me

I was told that dressing right would save me

I was told that saying yes ma’am and yes sir would save me

I was told that just saying no to drugs would save me

I was told that keeping my dick in my pants would save me

I was told that if I went to church I would be saved

I was told that going to college would save me

I was told that talking right would save me

I was told that walking right would save me

I was told that marriage would save me

And while I have not face an early death, these things are far from salvific

Cause I live in a place where my body is a threat

And I am thankful that I aint dead yet

But I know that its coming

And I know that any wrong move can make it come faster

But I don’t fret

I approach death with laughter

It can’t catch me

Cause I’m living life to the fullest

And I aint trying to live it another way

I’ve already died before

And I’ve been resurrected twice

No, I’m not invisible

Just living life on purpose

And if I die tomorrow, I’ve already fulfilled my purpose